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What should I do when my husband is cheating on me?

Updated: Jan 26

Infidelity is devastating. Nobody should go through this experience that of their partner being unfaithful to them. However, cheating partners is a lot more common than you'd think. According to this website, between 2004 and 2014, based on data from the Singapore Department of Statistics (DOS), 1.3 percent to 2.1 percent of those who filed for divorce under the Women’s Charter cited adultery as the main reason.

However, this does not paint the true picture because many will cite ‘unreasonable behavior” as the reason for divorce due to a lack of evidence or not wanting to escalate the divorce proceedings.

So what do you do if you find out (or suspect) that your partner is cheating on you?

  1. Make Sure He’s Actually Cheating On You It might seem obvious, but before you phone up that divorce lawyer, you’re going to want to make sure that you have a cheating partner. Now, if you walked in on him in bed with another woman, then you know he’s cheating for sure. Otherwise, you’re going to have to play detective. This is especially important as you might be wrong. True, he could be acting suspiciously, not telling you what’s bothering him, yet that doesn’t mean that he’s definitely cheating on you. He could just as easily be having problems at work or may have someone like a health scare that he doesn’t want to burden you with yet. If you’re looking to know if you’re husband is cheating, you may contact a professional private investigator who specializes in matrimonial investigations like Resilient Investigations or Asia Top Investigation.

  2. Distance Yourself From The Situation You’ve just found out that your husband is cheating on you. It’s natural for you to want to scream and break things, after all, this is one of the worst breaches of trust that can ever happen to you. However, this anger isn’t always a good thing, as when your emotions take over, you’re likely to say things that you might regret years later. Instead, remove yourself from the situation. If he doesn’t live with you, ask him to go back to his own apartment in order to give yourself space to think. If you live together you may wish to take yourself off to stay with a family member or a friend, although this can be hard when there are children involved. Never feel like you cannot ask him to leave. His name might be on the deed but it was his that choose to cheat, so it should also be him that goes to stay in a hotel. Once he’s gone, you’ll be free to cry and explore your anger and sadness as much as you want. This will give you the space you need to think and decide what you would like to do next.

  3. Confide In Trusted Family Or Friends When you find out a husband or partner has been cheating with another woman, many wives feel embarrassed and want to hide this information. Never do this! Instead, confide in a close family member or friend, as they will be able to help advise you on what you should do in the future. Just remember, no one is going to judge you as it wasn’t you cheating on a partner – you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. Talking to someone about his affair also gives you the opportunity to get everything off your chest. Let them make you a hot drink and pour your heart out. You might be surprised at just how better this will make you feel. Plus, it gives you the opportunity to discuss whether you think he’s telling you the whole truth and whether or not you should consider staying together.

  4. Understanding Your Emotions When your partner has been unfaithful, it becomes tempting to bottle up all your emotions and put a smile on your face as if nothing has happened. However, this is extremely unhealthy for both you and those around you. As, the more you bottle up your feelings, the more likely you are to snap and have a breakdown – which is far from what you need at the moment. Now, if you have children, you’ll probably not want to spend your days crying in front of them. They’ll already wonder where their dad is, and a crying mom will only worry them. However, when you’re away from them, let your emotions flow. Over time, it will help you work through your feelings and help you decide what your next steps should be. It also helps to understand the 5 Stages Of Grief which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

  5. Never Start Blaming Yourself Many women who have been cheated on, start to blame the breakdown of their marriage on themselves. Perhaps you feel you nagged him too much, or you didn’t get dressed up to impress him as much because you were busy with the children. You should never blame yourself, though, as you both made a commitment to each other. If he wasn’t happy, he should have suggested marriage counseling for you both rather than starting a relationship with someone else. So, whether it’s you blaming yourself or he’s using you as an excuse for his behavior, don’t let it fly. You aren’t the reason why he took his wedding ring off and started hitting on women, that’s all down to him and it’s his fault your marriage is failing. You should also hold off on blaming the other woman until you find out whether she knew he was married; she could quite as easily be a victim in this thinking she was starting a relationship with another single.

If you're looking for an experienced PI that to help solve your case or if you need some advice on an ongoing case, you may contact Asia Top Investigation at or 📱 9651 1969

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