Suspecting that your partner may be cheating on you can be your worst nightmare.
Lost and confused, one might easily fall into depression because they do not have anyone to confide in or seek advice from.
For those of you who think that this might not happen to you (we hope so too), cheating partners is a lot more common than you'd think. According to this website, between 2004 and 2014, based on data from the Singapore Department of Statistics (DOS), 1.3 percent to 2.1 percent of those who filed for divorce under the Women’s Charter cited adultery as the main reason.
However, this does not paint the true picture because many will cite ‘unreasonable behavior” as the reason for divorce due to a lack of evidence or not wanting to escalate the divorce proceedings.
Here's what you should do if you suspect that your partner is cheating on you.
Gather Evidence - Make sure you obtain evidence that he is actually cheating on you. The most easily attained evidence could be social media photo screenshots, WhatsApp messages, or frequent calls.
Distance Yourself From The Situation - You’ve just found out that your husband is cheating on you. It’s natural for you to want to scream and break things, after all, this is one of the worst breaches of trust that can ever happen to you. However, this anger isn’t always a good thing, as when your emotions take over, you’re likely to say things that you might regret years later. Instead, remove yourself from the situation. If he doesn’t live with you, ask him to go back to his own apartment in order to give yourself some space to think.
Confide In Trusted Family Or Friends - Infidelity is more common than you'd think. Try to open up to someone that you trust and let them know the situation that you're in. At the very least, someone will support you emotionally when you're going through this dark period.
Never Start Blaming Yourself - Understand your emotions and never fault yourself. Understanding that your partner is cheating is solely their decision and do not be swayed by their excuses.
What To Do Next?
If you suspect your spouse is being unfaithful/is cheating on you with someone else, do not confront them! Private Investigator Vincent Tan who has been conducting the matrimonial investigation for 25 years advised.
This will lead to one of the following 3 outcomes:
1. He/She will deny aggressively and start a fight/blame you
2. Your relationship will likely go downhill
3. He/She will get better at covering their tracks in the future
So, what should you do?
1. Gather any basic evidence you can find such as access to his/her smartphone.
2. Consult your trusted Licensed Private Investigator/Private Detective.
The truth is that a well-trained Private Investigator with experience will likely gather evidence a lot quicker and more efficiently for you to make your case. To consult a professional Private Investigator with Matrimonial Experience, contact Asia Top Investigation LLP. We will listen and empathize with your case, offering the most suitable strategy to gather the necessary evidence efficiently instead of conducting your own investigation at the risk of your relationship.
What NOT To Do
1. Do not try to conduct your investigation.
If your suspicions persist, it is important to speak to your partner. Sometimes issues can be resolved just by a heart-to-heart discussion with him, especially when it is just a miscommunication or misunderstanding at play. However, if the root cause is incompatibility, it requires more commitment and time from both partners.
This might alert the target and it will be extremely difficult to gather evidence and jeopardize the Investigation. The target will be cautious and cover his/her track.
Trying to collect evidence or snoop around their laptops, phones, and social media can be nerve-wracking and frustrating, and can affect your mental health, so it is generally preferable to have a conversation before conducting your own investigation.
Alternatively, you can also Hire a Private Investigator to gather evidence on whether or not your partner is really cheating on you.
2. Do not display signs of your suspicion.
Although it is distressing when you start to suspect a partner of cheating, experts say that it is not advisable to confront them right away. Instead, it is important to spend some time to introspect on what caused you to suspect them in the first place. 98 percent of people will not admit that he/she is cheating unless you can produce some hard evidence. Never try to talk to your cheating partner before you have a full plan.
In addition, here are some other factors that could cause suspicion as well, such as a friend confiding in you about a cheating spouse or even news about celebrity break-ups. Such information could cause you to have doubt and make you draw parallels with others’ situations.
3. Do not engage an unlicensed private investigator.
Most of the agencies will display their license number on their website. Using an unlicensed private investigator will jeopardize your case if the case needs to be brought to a court of law. Worst this might cost you more suffering as all your information is known to the "Agency" and their "investigators" and it might worsen your case and alert the target.
If you're ever in doubt,
Here are 20 Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating On You
1. Changing their password on mobile devices and not sharing with you. Block you on their social media platforms.
2. Close friends are cautioning you about your partner behaving intimately with someone else from the opposite sex.
3. Bringing their mobile phone into the bathroom frequently and answering calls in a discreet way, making secret phone calls, and sending private messages in late hours of the night.
4. When you question, you never get direct answers or get an answer that does not make sense.
5. Their mood towards you changed and began to find fault with you for no apparent reasons.
6. Sudden interest in new things like taking new sports, going to the gym, using perfume, paying more attention to their dressing and appearance change, etc.
7. Working late every night with a limp excuse.
8. Highly insensitive to your feeling.
9. Picking up fights over small matters.
10. Avoiding sex by giving excuses like headaches, tiredness, impotence, etc
11. Your gut feeling tells you something is not right.
12. Money is not begin accounted for and expensive gift purchases are not meant for you.
13. Frequently avoiding your calls and making excuses for not picking up or being uncontactable.
14. When you use their phone they would freak out or feel uneasy.
15. When confronted or questioned they will accuse you of beginning too sensitive.
16. Sending love messages that are not meant for you.
17. Stop holding your hand in public and lying about his whereabouts.
18. Leaving home at strange hours of the day without any reason.
19. Not informing you about travel plans or impromptu travels and not telling the truth about which hotel they are staying in.
20. Switching off their phone's GPS tracking function when they are not with you.
If you suspect that your partner is cheating on you, contact a licensed private investigator. You can Google 7 SPF-Approved, Best Private Investigators in Singapore or The Best 10 Private Investigators in Singapore and ask them for advice. Make sure you call at least 3 private investigation agencies to make a comparison. Engage one with whom you are comfortable.
Contact Private Investigator Vincent Tan @ +65 8820 0007 or email email@example.com
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